1,2,3 1,2,3

1,2,3 fractures,

Cracks in the heart,

After I had decided to be honest

My liquid emotion pumps earnest

But the good intentions no longer matter much

When the receiver is a busted socket and I am the plug

A love-hate relationship without the love

Already 1,2,3 sessions to electrocute this bug

I have inside of me

But the sickness hides so deep in me

So

Straight to the heart goes the electricity

A twisted current of intensity

Washing over my everything

Until I am nothing

1,2,3 suddenly

He knocks my mind away from me

Oh god,

Not again,

I cannot breath

Stop this End

And end with me

I think my mind is behind the bed

3,2,1 the blinding white tightens around my chest

I am forced to hug it out, across my heaving breasts

The first time, the second, I never learned

Third times the charm but the doctor can’t seem to cure

Me of my obsession

The world spins on while I am in regression

Human growth in retrograde motion

1 need, 2 wants, 3 wishes

I wish I could close my eyes and smash the clean, holiday dishes

Out of my world

And on to the stone cold floor

Those glittering pieces of shard will be no more

To me

Just a silly, once a yea thing

A thin sheen of anything

I cannot grasp on to the heavenly

Front of the mind

Only the back, with the creepy voice and the clown noses and the scratched out signs

1 me, 2 things, 3 stories

A silly thing I pushed passed the rusted bars and down the window

A hundred times over so I could beat those fantasies out of my mind, out of my, I feel out of my,

A dismal thought but I am done with the dread

Tired of the moths cuddling with me in bed, thank you for the courtesy, but I can no longer stand being carved out hollow

1, modest, 2, elated, 3, I tripped on my skirts and

Face planted

A pumpkin mutilated by a group of “oh boys will be boys”

I force myself to swallow pathetic thoughts and

Cover up the cootie spots

Burned in my cheeks

From the kisses so soft

So clean

So warm

So free

So lost in the moment until my entire being

Falls down,

Down,

Down the rabbit hole

Title me crazy, I don’t know

Anymore on this subject than I am told

The lessons require an exchanging of souls

So I struggle and fight and do not pass go

Just sit here in jail, my heart in a cage

They feed it every once in a while but I still feel the decay

1 right, 2 wrong, 3 neither is the answer

Forming in to a habit

Storming, stirring my emotions rabid

Moldy meat, cold room

The ghostly arms have left me chilling by myself without a clue

No bodies, no feeling at this point

Safe cuddles and sweet words and such trivial slices of cheese not here

The four walls close in, I can sense them near, sense him clear every point he makes is clear

I am not sensed by anyone like that but fear

Until I get out of my head

Out of my mind

Out of this tragic shy

From okayness and self loving wildness

1,2,3

1,2,3

1,2,3

1,2,3

Think about the numbers

Then maybe I’ll be free

Of my self doing

A life lesson filled with undoing

And finally the fractures will relent to gluing

My heart back in to one peace

So that I may be me again